First of all let me just say that I appreciate how clean and polished this was. I always love it when I don't have to stumble through a million grammar mistakes. It seems like a small thing but it makes a huge difference.

That being said, there are a few things I think you could improve on. I'll just start at the beginning and work my way throught the story.

The opening paragraph was nice. I like the descriptions of this beautiful peaceful day and how it contrasts with the arrow speeding through the air. One minor thing I didn't like here was the end of the last sentence: "...cutting through the air as if it were nothing." As if it were nothing just sounds like an odd way to describe it since air is nothing. It's not a horrible description, but bottom line, I think you could come up with something better.

I like that your descriptions of Lucinda are brief and to the point. They don't distract us from the story but we still get enough information to picture what our main character looks like. Nicely done.

The fifth paragraph is where it really started to get a little sketchy for me. The biggest problem I have is the fact that Lucinda was perceptive enough to sense the arrow coming towards her, but not perceptive enough to notice the soldier who was nearby--not even after he's dead. In fact, the mysterious guy who shot him has to point the body out to her before she realizes anything was wrong. It just seems off to me. This part especially: "A man was slumped against the trunk of a tree not two feet from her." Seriously? Two feet? He's practically touching her. How did she not see him until now? How did she not hear his body fall when he was shot? I get that she was more focused on finding the person who shot the arrow at that point, but the pieces still don't really line up. You've created a huge contradiction there with Lucinda's ability to sense an arrow flying towards her and then having her not notice something as obvious as a dead guy two feet away. Sorry, but I just find the whole thing a little hard to believe.

Let's take a step back to that fifth paragraph though and I'll point out the other little minor things I noticed as I was reading.

Again, nice job with the description of the guy with the bow. I like how there's a more tactical description and then a physical description. You accomplished two things with that. One, you told us what this guy looks like and what he's wearing. Two, you gave us a little more insight into Lucinda's character by showing us how she reacts upon meeting new people who might be a threat to her. Very well done.

This: "The mysterious archer smiled a smile that lit up his already handsome face." I don't really like the 'smiled a smile.' It feels repetitive. (Speaking of which, you have the world 'smile' written multiple times in just a few paragraphs. Not a huge deal but it might be something you want to look into changing.) If it were me, I would change this to, 'The mysterious archer's smile lit up..."

Then there's this line from Lucinda: "I have no pretenses against using violence against you so I suggest you answer my question," Against using and against you feels repetitive too. I would just take out 'against you' since it's pretty clear who her violence would be directed at.

The ending is good but it feels a little abrupt, even for a chapter break. It doesn't really feel like one of those cliffhanger endings to me. It just feels like the scene hasn't ended yet and you're dragging the reader out of it.

Overall though this was an enjoyable read. I think you had some solid characterization and you did a good job of showing, not telling. I like your descriptions and I think this has a lot of potential. Keep up the good work! And if you have any other questions or if something I said doesn't make sense, please let me know and I will try to explain myself better. I hope this was helpful to you.

First off, I think that the name while vaige was well chosen. It lets the reader know first off that it's about an archer but nothing else, giving it a bit of mystery before you even start the story. I find that it is often a vaige title which will bring a possible reader to take that first glance at a story, which it did for me.

Your beginning sentence is perfect. Brief description of the setting, sounds so beautiful and priceless, I can already imagine a field with dappled lighting with that one phrase. However, I believe you were meant to say "leaves" instead of "leave".

Your next sentence is also wonderfully structured. The simile is beautiful described without too much detail, and I could alsmost smell the scents described as I read.

The fact that the first three sentences all focus on one of the main senses I think is brilliant structure work and the mark of a well educated writer. Then the fourth sentence cuts through the description, almost cutting through the tranquil sceen, but it's not abrupt which I love about it.

I also like that you didn't use the word target, but used the colours to describe the target that the archer was aiming for. The fact that you didn't describe the archer before the arrow is also a great choice of structure and order.

Your character descriptions while brief are just enough. Much more and I think it would be overdone. The first introduction to luncinda is beautifully worded. It also shows the reader much of her character efficiently. I love how a perfect shot for her is not seen in success but in annoyance in a wasted arrow. It also quickly makes a point of difference between her and Robin Hood which I had quickly started to assume her to be like, then had to abandon the assumption.

Lucinda seems to me to seem like a cold weapon, I'm not sure if that was your purpose, but I have come to the assumption that that is who she is. Please correct me if I am wrong.

The introduction to the second character is also done brilliantly and efficiently. I also like how they meet in front of the reader and are introduced to the reader seperatly.

"He made a submissive gesture his left hand." This was a strange sentence for me. I don't know if it's just me, but I am unsure of what a submissive gesture might look like. A little more detail may be needed here.

Another skill you use well to your advantage is your naming techniques. While you change how you name your characters, you not only avoid repetition, but you are also reveiling more about the characters without the reader being alerted to it.

You also show early on that your characters are not perfect, having Lucinda's body betray her, the personification of her body is also a great technique and I love how you use it.

The phrase 'His laughter was half amused, half satisfied, and all idiotic male.' is also brilliant. The last four words are a break from the seriousness of the piece and bring in a bit of humour.

"I have no pretenses against using violence against you so I suggest you" this sentece needs some re-wording though. The repetition of 'you' and 'against' stick out like a sore thumb, especially since you have avoided any repetition so far in the piece. It does however bring emphasis on the dialogue and those words, which made me hear Lucinda putting emphasis on those words. If this was not your intention that I reccommend you change the wording, but if it was then it has done well, but it still sticks out more as an error. Also I don't think that you need to say that she avoided the question in that sentence. It's obvious and is only stating what the reader knows. Instead I think you should write how Lucinda is speaking. Is she angry? Cautious? At the moment I can't tell.

I think you meant to write "pieces" instead of "pieced" a little further down. The rest of that paragraph is beautifully worded and structured. I also love how you called him a would be murderer. It shows how Lucinda sees him, and how the audience should view him. I also feel like there might be a romance brewing, I'm not sure if I'm spoiling anything here, but that's what I can see happening

As the male character isn't well known at this point, I find it easy to imagine how he is speaking through the stereotype of the strong, cocky male looking for some entertainment. If this is the wrong stereotype for me to view him, then you might need to work on that, but I believe it to be correct from what I've read so far, in which case I'm loving the ambiguity of your descriptions about him. However as Lucinda seems more like an unpredictable character, I find it would be helpful if you described her emotions a little better.

I love the surprise of the third character. It's a nice twist early on in the story, keeping it unpredictable.

Although you apologize for the ending, I love it xD Cliff hangers are a favourite of mine. They keep the reader wanting more and keeps them engaged in the story.

Overall I found your story easy to read and it flowed really well. It's intriging and brilliantly worded throughout. It's a top story, I will most certainly be reading more. and if you havn't figured it out already, I love your story

Wow, I hope that's not too long for you xD